I have wanted to write recently about a few topics that tend to be a little more controversial, but I have, as is my nature, avoided such topics as politics, lifestyle, religion and friendship. Why? I don't like to offend and I would rather not be controversial...so much so, that I may appear as a professional fence sitter! I am actually very opinionated on most subjects and therefore am not a fence sitter at all. I simply prefer to quietly sit on one side of the fence or the other and typically try to keep my opinions, thoughts and allegiances to myself. Alright! Pipe down! No comments from the peanut gallery! I know there are many who consider me anything but quiet, but you may not realize I actually keep 10x more to myself than I verbalize. This is not always easy. In fact, it is often very difficult, especially if my feelings for that given subject are quite strong.
Like I said, I don't like fence sitters. Nobody does. Not even God and he likes lots of people! As the scripture states in the Book of Revelations, “So then, because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.” Eek! I hope I am not lukewarm! Turns out, I dislike those that seem fanatically convicted even more...Get this…even if I agree with them! It has been said that we have been given two ears and one mouth for a reason. Sadly, this statement is wasted on most who insist on speaking 5x more with one mouth than they do listening with two good ears and perfect hearing. Again, I am not perfect and admit I too fall short and make comments that may seem closed minded and absolute as if there is no possible way I could be wrong or that anyone who may see things differently are simply kookoo. As life goes on I continue to get better and better at being a listener, but it may take an eternity. I firmly believe that wisdom is like a river; the deeper it is, the more silent it becomes.
Now I completely understand and appreciate the passions of others. Quite honestly, we need these people. Most on this big green marble we call Earth tend to be fence sitters or bystanders. I think this sin of omission may do more harm than anyone could by expressing or pushing their own views, beliefs or agendas. To do nothing is to do something for sure! Unfortunately, most still do nothing. For this reason, we need the extremists; or those that may be viewed as extremists. I use for an example the Green movement. If more of us were concerned and responsible about our dear Mother Earth and took personal steps towards doing our part, there would likely be less extremists or at least less issues for them to be extreme about. Instead, we stand idly by and do little to improve our natural environment individually or as a society. Therefore, it takes this loud and sometimes obnoxious group of extremists to get our attention. In other words, typically, there are only a few on either side of any extreme and short fused topic of discussion, while most lie somewhere in the middle resigned to do nothing or too lazy to involve themselves, thus leaving the microphone to these, now labeled extremists. Due to most of us doing nothing, we need these extremists to passionately argue the points on either side, and as a society we often, but not always, land somewhere in the middle.
Don't get me wrong regarding this particular example with the Green movement. I am a twenty year contributor to the Surfrider Foundation. I am also a friend of one who died and another who is permanently disabled due to the violent acts that are sometimes carried out by a thoughtless few extremists. Even extremist groups often identify a smaller group as more extreme than them. I love the beautiful place we live and I have been blessed tremendously to see much of it and hope those experiences are far from over. I will however, never understand those that seemingly love animals or nature more than humans. Then again, animals and nature need someone to fight for them as well. Humph...maybe I am a fence sitter. Maybe I am lukewarm. Nonetheless, I will always condemn those that spiked those trees that caused my friends to die or live permanently disabled.
This is actually my point though. Sometimes the passionate “extremists” come off as crazies! There exists a fine line dividing passion from craze. A question to those passionate individuals who may be considered fanatical or extreme: Do you often feel you are talking to brick walls and everyone around you must be crazy! This is because you probably are talking to brick walls! Walls that may have been built specifically due to the passion you have, how often you express it and/or how you express it. If others see you as extreme, how often are they hearing what you have to say? If all you do is bark all day about the same subject, how often are you being tuned-out by those around you. You may not even be that extreme. You may simply be passionate. You may even be right (as far as I see it)! But we all tune out the barking dog that barks all day and all night...even if that barking dog is barking at an intruder who intends us harm. You become the boy who cried wolf, and nobody hears or heeds your words, even when you are trying to protect them.
Admittedly, I don't have the answer. I have strong opinions. I worry that my expression of these opinions will be viewed as extreme or that I will offend. For fear of this, I probably won’t even publish this entry. I, for sure won’t draw attention to it. Typically, I am not one who is concerned of offending. This doesn't mean I don't have concern for what others may think of me. We all do. My creed has always been, regarding choices I make and actions I take, that it ultimately doesn't matter what anyone thinks about me, so long as my God, myself, my Mother and my Wife are pleased with me. With that said, I mostly try to live by example.
I am almost certain that most can guess my general beliefs on any given subject by the way I live. I think this is the most important way of expressing your passions. Too many people have good messages that get lost because the listener is not only listening, but observing the actions of those messengers. My parents did a fairly good job of raising me to be tolerant and loving. Live and let live is an example I watched in them. Truthfully, I don't think they necessarily ever sat down with me and said, "Q, while you may not agree with others’ beliefs, views and practices, you must always love the individual as Christ would". Fortunately, I saw it though and that is most important. I do feel the days of "Live and Let Live" may be numbered. As the divide from right and wrong may widen, there will likely be a time when I must no more stand idly by and must choose, by my actions, what my beliefs are, and then make them clearer more by declaring them as well. When that time comes, I will have no problem doing so.
One more word to the extremists, or those that may be viewed as extreme: There are, in reality and in my opinion, only a few who are undecided on just about any given topic. While those who repeatedly pronounce their beliefs upon others again and again, are doing so in hopes of converting a few here and there, they may feel hopeless as they see no ground being gained. Probably more common is ignorance to this fact. They likely feel they are gaining ground when, in actuality, they are simply finding other birds of a similar feather to rally around them. Their group of believers has not grown at all, but merely identified themselves. Then, when the rubber hits the road, they are confused why their "movement" has failed to change things. It has been said that honey catches more flies than vinegar. If the rare undecided or the sought after convert from "the other side" is ever to be persuaded to join forces, they must first listen to what you say. Often, if they feel the message is laced with judgment or condemnation upon those that believe or think differently, they likely won't entertain the thought at all.
This is where a balance between passion and love wins the day. Express passionately, but without judgment and condemnation, your thoughts, beliefs and ideals. You will find more willing to listen and more willing to join arms in that cause. Listen with two ears to those around you and speak your thoughts when most appropriate. Do not speak too often or you may find the only ears that hear you are your own. Lastly, love and appreciate those around you; even when you know you are right and they still disagree. At least you have been heard.
In summary; Don't be a lukewarm. Don’t let others determine your fate. Be involved. Have an opinion. Become convicted. Study out life's important issues in your mind, ponder them and, if you feel so inclined (and at my encouragement), pray to know what is right. Always communicate with love, acceptance and passion. Judge not, nor condemn others who may not see things your way. This is not your place. Be ready to express your beliefs when needed. Do not do so too often so that you would be better off to not do so at all. Respect if not accept. Love is joy. There has never been happiness in bitterness or contempt.
