I'm Not Afraid to Admit it, I Love My Grandma!

The Johnson family reunion is this coming 4th of July weekend in Telluride, CO.  We won't be going, but I hope my family and extended family (and even those family members I don't know), understand how much I love and appreciate them.   My Grandma, Veora Rose (Johnson) Bliss, is the only surviving member of her immediate family as all of her siblings have since passed.  At the reunion, they will be honoring her in some way as the Matriarch and leader of our tight knit clan.  As part of the event, they asked that I share a picture and a short memory of my Grandma.  I figured I would rather include it in my blog rather than email it.  This way, all 4 of my blog readers are blessed with the opportunity to get to know my Grandma a wee bit better. 

Memory of Grandma

I'm the oldest of all my Grandma's Grandchildren.  I don't know if it makes me her favorite, but I'd like to think it makes me the most special.  All of my cousins should thank me or curse me as I may have had something to do with how she treats the rest of you.  I may have made it better or worse for all of you when it comes to Grandma's Grandmothering, depending on her experience with me.  Who am I kidding?!  We all know I was an angel growing up so I couldn't have made it worse!  I'm sure I broke her in perfectly.  Anyway, as the oldest, I've always considered myself important in some way.  "Important" probably isn't the right word.  She has so many Grandchildren and I'm sure each one stands out to her in one way or another.  It just seemed special to me when I consider I was her first.

When my family moved from Orange County to San Bernardino County, it was mid-school year.  To allow me to complete that year in school, my family moved and settled into their new home while I lived with my Grandparents.  Surprisingly, I don't remember a lot about that time.  Then again, I don't remember what I had for lunch 4 hours ago either, so maybe it isn't such a surprise...  Anyway, I do know I enjoyed it.  I know this because I specifically remember a few Summers later being excited at the opportunity to spend some time with her and my Grandpa at their new home in Marin County, North of the San Francisco Bay.  Why would I had been excited if my previous experience living with them was less than Primo?! 

To be honest, I don't even remember much about that time I spent with them in Novato either.  I really only remember 2 things: 1) My grandpa sitting in his recliner watching and playing "Wheel of Fortune" and 2) Being extremely disappointed after a long hunt through the house looking for something sweet, only to find and take a giant bite out of what I thought was a big bar of chocolate...it wasn't...it was baker's chocolate.  YUCK!  My memory is a mess.

I do have one picture of that trip though that I've treasured my whole life and thanks to that picture, it has helped me remember a third thing...3) Grandma gave me a perm!  Apparently she had just gotten a perm on her hair which was all the rage in the 70's and I wanted one too.  So, she gave me a perm.  Not really, but she took the time to go through all the steps and motions to let me believe she had.

Things I've Learned from Grandma

I think the memories I cherish most about Grandma are the memories where I wasn't present...even born for that matter!  I have always loved and admired my Grandparents and the things they accomplished.  I have long recognized and appreciated their qualities of a strong work ethic, sacrifice and frugality.  Many today would consider these qualities to be obsolete, antiquated or no longer necessary.  I happen to think the complete opposite.  It is these qualities that make my Grandmother part of that "Greatest Generation".  It is the absence of these qualities that are tearing at the moral fiber of our society and slowly dragging us down as a people...in my humble opinion. 

My parents raised me with an amazing love of work, a strong work ethic and pride of a job well done.  Qualities my Mom, no doubt, saw in her parents.  They also raised me to understand the blessing of sacrifice and the importance of maintaining proper priorities.  Again, characteristics my Mom saw in my Grandma and in turn replicated in her parenting.  This trait, selflessness, is still displayed by my Grandmother regularly.  I have seen her give of herself freely and financially to help others who needed help, in spite of her own reluctance to spend money on her own wants and needs.  Often that help goes unappreciated or under-appreciated, but she always does what she can for those she loves.  That characteristic is displayed in my Mother's life daily and I strive to walk in their footsteps in that regard as well.

Coupled with those two important things (work ethic and sacrifice) that were passed from Grandma to my parents and then to me, I also learned frugality from my Grandma.  While I doubt I will ever be quite as frugal as she is, I absolutely cherish her opinion when it comes to matters of money.  I often pick her brain regarding money matters and respect her position every time.  My entire adult life, I regularly ask myself what my Grandmother might do in my given situation when it comes to decisions regarding money, investments, spending, etc.  She has in that regard made me much of who I am today.  I appreciate it and I know my wife and children will too as we collectively reap rewards as a result of her sound fiscal policy.  In fact, I have watched in my life as people borrow money from those who have it and I have never understood why they value the borrowed money as so great an asset when the greater asset often goes untapped; that is the experience, knowledge and wisdom of the lender.  Grandma's experiences and subsequent wisdom are far greater in value to me than her actual money ever would be.

Recently, my Grandma, who is 92 by the way, moved closer to us after her 2nd husband passed away.  It was important for everybody who loves her to know that she was near somebody that could care for her in case her health declined.  It should be noted that her health is amazing.  She has issues that would be considered typical wear and tear for a 92 year old body, but she still exercises and gets around on her own.  I sense sometimes she gets antsy when others want to care for her or show concern as if she isn't capable.  I know she will probably read this so I will take the opportunity to clear the air...nobody thinks you are incapable, Grandma.  I hear often from friends how amazed they are at how great she looks for her age or how active she is or how sharp she is.  Grandma, you have long proved that you are WAY beyond capable.  Any help offered is simply out of respect and honor for you.  We love you and we want you to be cared for as you would for us if the tables were turned.  Having her near us allowed her to live with my Mom and near to my Aunt Lynette as well as us.  She is also closer to just about everybody else...Sturgis, SD is a long ways away!

Having her move near to us has been such a blessing.  I enjoy talking to her.  She shares her opinions and thoughts freely and respects mine too...even if they aren't always in line with hers.  She is frank and honest in her speech which, in todays day and age, some might find brash or offensive.  Personally, I find it refreshing and I'm happy she feels she can speak that way with me.  I really do enjoy visiting with her and I hope she can tell as we do so.  It has been wonderful to hear so many more of her stories from her youth and adolescence.  It has been a tremendous gift to me to learn more about my Grandfather who is my hero; a hero I know too little about; a hero taken from us too soon.    Hearing her tales and experiences have given me insight into the Greatest Generation and what makes them so extraordinary.  We can't get enough of her and neither can my kids.  They are so lucky.  I have, but only a couple memories of my Great Grandma Byrdie.  She lived so far from us as she was in Sturgis, SD and we were in So Cal.  My kids now have the opportunity to have, not only their Grandma Leslie near them and in their lives, but also Grandmama.

I love my Grandma and I miss my Grandpa.  Their greatest attributes shine in my Mother and I, for one, am so grateful.  That alone places me in debt to my Grandma...everything else is gravy.  Lots and lots of gravy!  Thanks for the gravy, Grandma!

Grandma's the Bomb...The Photo Bomb!

As per usual, here is a cluster of random photos of my Grandma that I've taken or collected from others (without their permission via facebook theft).  

Grandma ~ Oceanside Beach, CA

Guess how many other women in their late 80's hiked to an elevation
of 14,110 feet?  NONE!  Well, she didn't either, she took the cog train,
but still...the thin air at that elevation kept most over 70 down at the base.
Pikes Peak, CO

Grandma ~ Snowbird, UT

She can be one goofy gal, too!

Grandma and Sarah ~ Hershey, PA

Grandma and Leah ~ 2008

Me with Grandma and Herb ~ 2002

Mom and Grandma ~ Solitude, UT (?)

Me and my Grandma Brewer and Grandma Bliss ~ DAL Graduation 1988

The infamous perm picture.  ~ Novato, CA 1980 (?)

Grandma in Alaska ~ 2006

Sarah and Grandma ~ Thanksgiving 2015, American Fork, UT

Me, Scooter, Grandma and Mom ~ Thanksgiving 2015, American Fork, UT

Dax and Grandma ~ Yuma, AZ

My Grandma, Grandpa, Mom and Aunt Lynette ~ Circa A LONG TIME AGO!  

Grandma stays active, as seen here last month at the Orange County Highland Festival.
She won't let anything keep her down.  Not even bagpipes!

Second only to hearing her stories, my favorite thing to do with my Grandma
is play cards or bones.  Here she is playing Mexican Train on her pack porch.

Mum and Grandma

First priority.  Her 8 kids.  

Mom, Grandma, Dax and Leah ~ 2015 

"I have to have a coke with Mexican Food and Pizza"

Hiking around the Wasatch

Sarah, Grandma and some crazy dude with a hose.  

Again, I love playing cards with Grandma.  Keep your ears open and your eyes
peeled for the upcoming weekly series, "Games with Grandma" wherein I will
interview Grandma about her life while playing various card games with her.  

Thanksgiving Pointe, UT

Sharing one of her secrets to longevity of life...stop and smell the flowers.

She's a very active Grandma.  Water aerobics and more.  

Grandma was a "Rosey the Riveter" during WWII.  Here she is sporting
the pants.  We recently had her apply for the Honor Flight wherein they
send WWII Vets to Washington DC to be honored and to visit the WWII
Memorial.  They technically don't consider the support system back home,
like the riveters, but they were intrigued with the concept and are looking
for more to send all at once.  They were a very important part of the war
machine that defeated evil.  

Grandma at Thanksgiving.  I think this was in her Fullerton home.  

Sturgis, SD 2014.  Celebrating her 90th!

Jim, Hailey and Grandma

My Mom loves her Mother, as does her siblings.  Mom would sacrifice anything and
everything to be there for her.  She loves her Mom.  

Ever since Grandma moved in with Mom, we have referred to them as Grandma and
Grandmama.  Dax thought that was too long and shortened it to "Two Grandmas" and refers
to them collectively as such.

Leah loves her Grandmama.  Grandmama loves her Leah.  

Visiting Grandma and Herb in Yuma, AZ.

Visiting Kirtland, OH with Grandma.  I can't remember the date, but I'm going
to guess it was someday between the 25th and 27th of July and probably in 2010.

Grandma and her kids all grown up, well, older I should say.  Brock still hasn't
grown up.  ;)  ZING!  Brock, Bill, Grandma, Susan, Lynette, Becky and Mom.
Missing is Jimmy and Karen.

The Matriarch of our family.  May we have at least another healthy decade with her!



I'm Losin' It!

Weight loss is a difficult thing.  I've not tried it often or for long, but I've known many who have and I've witnessed their plight.  I myself have only seriously tried to lose weight twice in my life, well, now three times.  I'm a learner and I've learned as I've witnessed my own trial with weight and the trials of others.  In fact, it seems that those who struggle to lose weight, do so their entire lives.  Even my own two experiences levied the same results. 

 

My first two times putting forth a serious effort to lose weight, resulted in immediate results followed by a slow to rapid slide backwards wherein I gain all the weight back and sometimes more.  I learned two important things in those two experiences as well as watching others fight their weight loss battles. 

 

1)  I think the first important key I realized was that it was going to require patience if I was to reach my ultimate weight goal.  We've become a "micro-wave" society, one that wants and expects immediate results and abandons our goals when those results are not realized.  I didn't balloon from 215 to 315 in 3 to 12 months, so how reasonable is it for me to expect to drop from 315 to 215 in that same period of time?  Patience has to be the key.

2)  Any changes made in my diet would have to be something I could do long term and forever rather than for a short period of time.  Nothing against fad diets or those that require major overhauls to eating habits, but I've learned they are not for me.  Same goes for surgeries and crazy exercise programs.  Again, the results may come, but are they the results that will remain after abandoning the changes made in order to achieve those results?  My experience is no. 

 

I think some of the diets that work for others might yield long term results if a disciplined regiment of exercise can be installed as a way to maintain the achieved success.  Unfortunately, I have the extra obstacle of, not one, but three types of arthritis.  I've managed to get on the treadmill from time to time, but often the result is a day to three days in bed afterward.  It's a bit counterproductive.  Exercise is currently off the table for the most part. 

 

I finally got serious about weight loss, this time (and hopefully the last) back in December of 2013.  I had reached my highest weight yet.  315 L-B's!  I was huge!  It didn't bother me too much.  I had become used to it.  I've been a big guy my entire life, even when I was at my most fit, I was a big guy.  I'm just built that way.  My wife loves me for who I am and I don't think it bothers her at all that I am a big guy.  I have a very healthy self image and I know my worth.  It only slightly suffers as a result of my weight and size.  I've even gotten used to being lectured about my weight by the doctor every time I visit.  Truthfully, I never really felt it was important for me to lose weight.  I love me regardless of how much I weigh and I'm pretty sure everybody else does too.

 

Anyways, we were visiting my family in Southern California for Christmas of 2013.  It was Christmas Eve and we were staying at my brother's house.  I was getting in a late night shower in between the Christmas Eve festivities and Christmas Day celebrating.  That's when it hit me, mid shampoo...I was surprised with a piercing pain in my chest and left arm.  I thought I was having a heart attack.  At very best it was an anxiety attack of sorts, but this felt different.  Whether or not it was a heart attack, it's now history and not important.  After talking myself through it and finally relaxing, I made a decision there and then that I needed to come up with a plan that would work for me and help me to be around a lot longer than it seemed at the moment. 

 

The following month after that episode I spent many hours considering options and evaluating why weight loss is such an elusive goal and why permanent weight loss was even more elusive.  That's when I recognized the 2 keys I previously mentioned.  Obviously, I needed to make a change or else I'd be pushing up daisies too soon, but what changes could I make that I would be willing to make forever; what changes were reasonable and obtainable.  Once I came up with a game plan regarding those changes, I then set a reasonable time frame in which I could achieve my weight loss goal.  Lastly, I determined I would begin after my birthday, the first week of February. 

 

So, on the Monday after my birthday, I weighed myself and began my journey.  I was starting off at 315 pounds.  The 315 pounds I brought to the table at this point made me much larger than any previous time weighing just as much.  After losing weight and gaining it back a couple times, it seemed my girth had outgrown my weight.  Anyway, at 315 my goal was to lose 100 lbs in 5 years.  I figured it took me 20 years to put it on, it was still a worthwhile goal to lose it in 5. 

 

My plan is not scientific, but it's working for me.  Here is what I came up with though I'll spare you the reasoning behind each point:

1)  No soda.

2)  No fast food.

3)  No sweets.

4)  Only eat when I'm hungry.

5)  When you have the cravings, fight them.  When you don't, don't sweat it and cheat a little...a little.

6)  Free days are a must.

7)  Forgive yourself.  If you slip and fall.  Get back to it with minimal delay.

8)  Don't let my physical handicaps win.  Always push back and through the pain.

9)  In a few words, be aware, be committed and be patient.

 

I slip a lot, but all in all, I'm doing better than I was in January of 2014 and the results are motivating.  I am now 2 years and 5 months into this and as of Monday I am down 59 pounds with 41 to go in 2 years and 7 months.  I realize I am still fat and still not where I need to be, but the most exciting part of this is that I don't feel like I am dieting and I feel that the results will continue to come and will stick this time around.  59 POUNDS!  I'm stoked!  I still need to keep on keepin' on! 

 

Support is important too though.  So important.  I know from previous efforts.  When others notice your weight loss and tell you, their compliments and praise are fuel to keep up the fight.  The recognition of others is a compelling force to keep going so as to, A) keep the praise coming, and B) not appear to be a quitter.  I've seen so many friends who are currently doing phenomenal things in the area of weight loss and it's exciting to see them do so, but I know it's hard so I am always looking for those who are fighting the fight so that I can offer a word of encouragement and hope to do my part in helping them in their efforts. 

 

The tough part for me in my game plan to lose the weight slowly, steadily and permanently is that the weight loss is not as recognizable to others and therefore, if it goes unnoticed, it goes uncommented on.  I miss that fuel for my fight.  I've found other motivating factors.  I've found excitement in moving the notches on my belt further down the line and even more excitement when it comes time to drill new holes.  I've found absolute pleasure in buying jeans and shorts that are 4 inches smaller in the waist than they were in Feb of 2014 and even more pleasure in realizing that they are starting to fit more comfortably.  I've found great satisfaction in saying "no" to cravings and extra helpings.  That being said, it is nice to be at a weight that others are starting to realize.  I don't want to say I'm fishing for compliments, but they do help to motivate. 

 

So, for those who are out there wanting to lose weight, know that you have in me a cheerleader.  Also know that it will be hard, but it will be worth it.  Give yourself the appropriate time to get it done in a healthy and maintainable manner.  Forgive yourself when you slip, but don't throw in the towel.  Most of all, do it for reasons other than your self worth.  Know that you are loved and treasured by your family and friends and most importantly, your creator, know matter how you look. 

 

I don't know if I will publish this post, but I had to write it.  I'm excited for my results and it's important to me.  I hope it results in a longer life for my kids.  I love them too much to abandon them before I have a chance to embarrass them in front of their prom dates. 

 

This is me at 295 lbs in 2010. 20 lbs shy of my largest.
I chose this pic because I know I still have this shirt
and can take a comparable picture. 

 

 

I wanted to find a picture of me wearing the same shirt to compare.
I know this isn't a good picture and I don't think it really shows
how much I have lost, but this is me this Monday morning
When I weighed in at 256.  I still have a ways to go, but
I am excited and I feel great!