Last night, the plan for Family Home Evening was to discuss Tithing. Due to something I had seen on Facebook that was bothersome to me, I called an audible and changed the plan of discussion.
I don't want to go into detail in order to avoid offending anybody. That is not my intention. I saw a post on facebook that concerned me and for whatever reason I couldn't get it out of my head. It ate at me for a few days and I realized that thinking so much about it was not productive for me or my family. I then resolved that the best I could do was to make sure my children learned from the experience so as to help them be the type of people they need to be.
I will explain generically. This post was of a young man that had done something stupid and was bragging about it by posting pictures and a brief summary of their poor decision. It involved dishonesty, immaturity and (IMHO) a lack of character. Don't get me wrong, I have done plenty of stupid things in my life and thank goodness I can look back and laugh at it today. However, this particular thing really bothered me. Not the immaturity or stupidity of the act, or the brazen boasting of the stupid act, but the fact that nobody seemingly spoke out against it and even more bothersome were some of the adults that "liked" the post or even supported it.
To me, honesty, integrity and character are not light matters. If there is anything in this life that requires guarding it would be those things. The only thing you leave in this life is your legacy of who you were and what kind of person you were. If I had to list all the characteristics I would want people to remember about me, honesty, integrity and character would be among the top.
It was a great opportunity to teach my daughter (Dax is a bit young to take it all in) the difference between honesty and dishonesty; how this is displayed not only in word, but in deed. How it affects the way others see you and trust you and feel about your overall character. There are many virtues we may embody or don't embody, but honesty is one that seems to spill over into every other aspect of who you are. If you are honest, show integrity or seem to be of good character, people seem to automatically give you the benefit of the doubt in other areas of virtue. If you are dishonest, or have questionable integrity or seem to be of weak character, people automatically doubt you in other areas of virtue...you probably aren't a hard worker, or don't take pride in what you do, etc. Right, wrong or indifferent, it is a reality.
It was a great FHE. Leah is a bright little girl and she has a good grasp on right from wrong. She has obviously made some wrong decisions as do all kids, that involve fibs or lies. It was good to draw on experiences where she has made right decisions as well so she can see the difference to what she should do or not do and how she felt as a result. We sang "Choose the Right" to end the night. I'm blessed with an amazing wife and good kids as a result. The discussion helped put my mind at ease and helped to put the bothersome facebook post somewhat behind me.
I realize we all make questionable decisions and have lapses in judgment. Like I said, I have had plenty! How we react to those mistakes say as much about us or even more than the actual mistake. Honesty, integrity and character are not defined by being perfect in our decisions and actions, but owning them, making them right and how we feel about those actions.
It is my hope and prayer that Leah and Dax grow up to understand just how important these things are. They make a world of difference in every human relationship you have; as an employer/employee, friend, son/daughter, father/mother, spouse, leader, student/teacher and more. I know they will make mistakes along the way as we all do which is why it was important for us to have a side discussion about repentance and forgiveness. I was blessed with parents that taught me right from wrong and the importance of honesty and integrity in all I do. They taught me this by their actions more than by words. Leah and Dax are now my motivation to do the same so they will learn from Sarah and I and our actions. I pray my decisions are firmly based on a foundation of honesty and integrity. When I die, I hope it is heard, "That Marque defined character".
Part of me still wants to go off on the individual and let them know just how stupid they are. I'm pretty sure any words would fall on dead ears anyway. I forgive them whether or not they desire it. Their act did not affect me personally, but rather caused me concern for their maturity and integrity. It was a relatively victimless act so there is no need to push the matter. I know they'll eventually grow up and won't make similar decisions in the future and will look back one day at this memory and chuckle and think to themselves, "Man, I was an idiot!" If they are anything like me they will. I am well aware of what an idiot I was in my adolescence and young adult years. I lived through it. So will they.
Thanks for letting me vent.
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